Same Sex

The deceptive allure of Online Dating

hooking up with strangersI guess it’s human nature to feel wanted…needed…desired. Even whilst in a stable relationship, the allure of anonymous sex or hooking up with a total strangerĀ seems too strong, too primal, to dismiss.

There are a many APPs available today that make it easy to meet up with strangers…or Continue reading “The deceptive allure of Online Dating”

Adoption, Age 3, Parenting

Gay Couple Adopting – The Mommy Question


Gay Couple Adopting - The Mommy Question

When hubby and I made the decision to embark on our adoption journey, we knew very well that at some point our new family would be asked the question ” Where’s mommy?”

We knew that the question would come from different sources.

As much as you think you will be ready for when the question pops up, from my personal experience I don’t think you will ever really be ready for it.

The question pulls at your heart.

Although the question is asked with no malice, usually, I felt at the time… Continue reading “Gay Couple Adopting – The Mommy Question”

Adoption, hylery, Love, Same Sex

World Adoption Day – Gay Dad Darren share’s his story

World Adoption Day
Our First World Adoption Day as a family 2014

Today 9th November 2016 is #WorldAdoptionDay celebrated worldwide, the wonderful blessing that adoption can be.

Adoption Statistics in South Africa based on a review of the Registry of Adoptable Children and Parents (RACAP) as at November 2013

  • 297 unmatched parents registered – 14 Black, 190 White and 43 Indian
  • Girls are preferred to Boys
  • 50 applicants would consider a child with special needs (HIV, Mental or Physical disabilities)
  • 29 possible parents for around 429 children registered on RACAP
  • 2013 only 1699 adoptions took place, down from 2840 in 2004

That said, today being World Adoption Day I thought I’d share with you our personal story. So here are Darren’s thoughts back in 2014…

The decision to adopt a baby was not our first option as we desperately wanted to father a child or two of our own. However having considered the exhaustive process as well as the reality that surrogacy would still not guarantee us a baby, we Continue reading “World Adoption Day – Gay Dad Darren share’s his story”

Adoption, Adoption Phases, hylery

Gay Couple Adopting – The Paperwork

Adoption Paperwork

Something we may have forgotten to ask our social worker and she may have forgotten to expand with us, was what “Placement” or the trip where we meet our new family member is all about.

We were under the impression that when we went to fetch our son and brought him home, that the hard part was over and he was forever ours. Well not quite. How mistaken we were. It was only at this point that we also learnt that for the first 24 months, that we could receiveĀ a call from our Social Worker informing us that our son’s birth parents wanted to meet to see how their birth child was doing. By law, you can’t say no. Continue reading “Gay Couple Adopting – The Paperwork”

Adoption, Adoption Phases, hylery

Gay Couple Adopting – The Application

Adoption as a gay couple

I recall that from the age of 16 I wanted to be a dad. I distinctly remember a conversation I had with my mother at the time, where I mentioned that I would one day become a dad and that I would have this child without a wife or girlfriend for that matter to help me raise him/her. At the time I was not out as a gay person to my family or friends. I still remember my mom asking me then how I intended to have this child then if I was not planning on having a wife or girlfriend. Continue reading “Gay Couple Adopting – The Application”