Adoption, Beginnings

He impresses us everyday …

The month of February has been filled with so many emotions both good and bad. It hasn’t all been due to what’s been happening at home but rather life at the moment just seems to be offering lemons .. at least where work is concerned. You see, we’re experiencing some “restructuring” . As many of you may know it’s not the best of times for any company going through it, or rather for the people being affected by it.

We all love being in control and knowing the direction our lives are going. This period is trying for both those affected by the restructure and those in limbo .. the ones that don’t really know whether they are affected or not. Information is scarce or limited. No one really says too much in fear of saying the wrong thing. It’s a really sad period and we’re going through it at the office. Unfortunately, no, that isn’t really an apt word to clearly explain it .. but we’re not the only company going through it. Almost daily I am made aware of a new name affected by the changes, and I never really know how to react to it. I’m left feeling like an empty casket. How does one respond to being told that a colleague that you’ve known for over a few years has been … well … let go? Do companies even consider the impact these decisions have on those people and their families or is it all really about the “Shareholders” ? It really feels like 2008 all over again…

Crossing the bridge to a new life ...
Crossing the bridge to a new life …

Earlier this month hubby and I also looked at the possibility of extending our family. Who would have thought it would be just as daunting as the first time? The probing questions, the restrictions placed or the conditions imposed .. it all really begs the question “Do we really want to go through it all again?” I think of all the innocent lives out there, we’re given numbers of over 2 million abandoned lives in need of homes and wonder 1. why so many hurdles 2. surely if it’s to give one more child a home it is worth all the fuss?

On this same subject, as we’re considering using the same private agency we used before I was hoping that we could afford to be well …”fussy” for lack of a more politically correct word. Apparently not! You see, even in this day and age as a gay couple we’re still somewhat discriminated against. We’re at the “bottom of the barrel”. The discrimination is hidden behind the allegation that these mothers and their families do not believe two men can make good parents. For this reason as gay parents to be…again, two men only qualify for “abandoned” babies. Hearing these words again, really left me feeling extremely livid! How dare them I ask? It’s not fair … I think to myself… but then who ever said life was fair?

The blessing .. a child
The blessing .. a child

For a few days now I’ve toiled with these thoughts, praying for a clear direction, trying to figure it all. Today I received some directions from an unexpected place. You see today I came across a blog written by a birth mother. The blog shares her thoughts on giving up her child, the emotions she felt leading up to this decision and post handing over her baby. Sadly, these thought seldom cross ones mind as potential adopting parents. I think, we can be so caught up with the emotions of becoming parents, we spare but a second’s thought for the parents giving up their child in the hopes that they receive a more privileged life to what they could give them? It was while I read her story, that the answer I was seeking dawned on me. I am more at peace with the direction I’d like us to take. Much to look forward to …

JJ continues to overwhelm us with so much emotion. Ever since he turned 1, he seems to be on overdrive where his milestones are concerned. Short of actually speaking in a language we’re all able to understand he is communicating with us really well. The tantrums we were told would only happen when he turned two … “terrible twos” actually seem to have started plenty sooner! He is known to scream at the top of his lungs for no apparent reason, scream if he doesn’t have his way, if he isn’t receiving the attention he demands, or if we’re taking too long to give him his morning or evening milk bottle. Nothing though, beats watching him listen to us when we’re reading to him before bedtime, or how he joins in when we’re singing nursery rhymes on repeat or how he walks to his room when I announce that it’s bed time… all these little achievements are actually rather big. I’m so proud of the young man he is becoming.

Our Hero
Our Hero

I’ll take this opportunity to thank you for participating in the poll in my earlier about schools here . I can’t say we’ve decided on the way forward, but I am clear that when the time is right we will know what to do….

Love our young man!

HKL

Advertisements